I’m Done Being a Girlboss. I Was Chasing a Goal That Wasn’t Mine.
Summary
Henley Carr, a 28-year-old advertising professional, recounts shifting her life priorities from career ambition to motherhood. Once driven by male validation, a high-paying director role and the identity of being the primary breadwinner shaped her sense of self. After a miscarriage in 2024 and then becoming a mother this year, she realised motherhood is the legacy she wants and began grieving the “girlboss” persona she once chased.
Carr kept working while trying for a baby and found that pregnancy softened her appetite for the relentless climb. Now on maternity leave, she is reassessing a five-day in-person job that conflicts with time with her child, exploring more flexible work even if it pays less, and hoping her partner can become the household breadwinner.
She also describes a personal shift: no longer competing with other women, feeling liberated creatively, and gaining respect for women who aren’t following a strict achievement narrative.
Key Points
- Henley tied her identity to job title, salary and male validation early in her career.
- A miscarriage and subsequent pregnancy prompted a re-evaluation of what fulfils her — motherhood outranked career ambition.
- She currently plans to return to work but is actively seeking flexible roles that allow more time with her baby.
- Money remains important, but Carr is willing to accept less pay for greater presence at home.
- Letting go of the “girlboss” identity brought creative freedom and a newfound respect for other women’s choices.
Context and Relevance
This as-told-to essay reflects broader conversations about work-life balance, the limits of the “girlboss” narrative, and evolving definitions of feminist success. It speaks to professionals — especially women — wrestling with the pressure to achieve while wanting presence and care in family life. The piece also ties into trends: rising interest in flexible work, debates over the emotional cost of careerism, and shifting household breadwinner dynamics.
Author style: Punchy — personal, candid and direct. This is a lived account rather than analysis, useful for anyone curious about the human side of career decisions.
Why should I read this?
Because it’s a blunt, relatable take on what happens when ambition stops fitting your life. Henley spells out why the shiny “girlboss” badge can feel hollow and what it’s like to choose presence over promotion — handy if you’re juggling career pressure, family plans or simply tired of the hustle culture spiel.
